


Rise of the Slayers

by Loudest_Voice



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Cliche Storm, College, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loudest_Voice/pseuds/Loudest_Voice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto has been a vampire for over three hundred years. He can handle some douchebag, Buffy-wannabe vampire "slayer". Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Chosen One

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Naruto and I'm not making any money etc.
> 
> I started writing this because of a dream so in a way, I'm like Stephanie Meyer now. Inspired by all the vampire AU fics where Sasuke is a smooth, sexy Dracula who seduces Naruto/Sakura/author self-insert/whoever. I wonder if those are still around. 
> 
> Also, go to the end of the chapter for all the vampire stories I stole--uh, paid homage to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prophecies all sound stupid, don't they?

The kid stood out. And not only because he was Hollywood attractive with his straight black hair, pouty pink lips, and big black eyes.

Unlike most of the brats loitering Old Maiden's (poorly lit) Underground Club (actually, it was a one of Redgers' bigger basement classrooms cleared of all chairs) he wasn't wearing any black lipstick, white powder, piercings, tattoos, or fishnet. Instead, he was just sporting boring blue jeans and a dark blue sleeveless tank-top that showed off the slim but nicely defined muscles of his pale arms. No bite marks anywhere visible, not even his neck (and it was a really nice, long, and pale neck). Naruto wondered if he was just dealing with the inexplicably hot March night in the most logical fashion, or if he was doing what he was doing on purpose. He looked like a confirmed virgin walking around in a skirt so tiny the bottoms of her ass showed whenever she took a step.

Naruto chuckled to himself, thinking that Sakura would probably slap him for so much as _having_ that thought. He glanced over at where she was sitting several feet away, laughing heartily and unselfconsciously at some joke that blond bombshell friend of hers from General Psychology was telling. She was holding a cheap, plastic wineglass filled with the stupid "blood-red" concoction the girl who'd organized the party—excuse him, _congregation_ —had mixed. Naruto was pretty sure there was more ethanol than anything else on the stuff, but he it wasn't like it could have any effect on Sakura. Not unless she'd taken a bite out of one of the drunken frat boys buzzing about her and her tiny red cocktail dress like bees. As Naruto looked on in amusement, Sakura not-so-gently pushed away an asshole who tried to dip his big, probably sweaty hand into her pink- _pink!_ -hair and grabbed a hold of her blond friend before sauntering towards the dance floor.

The pink dye had been the other girl's idea. It looked good, actually. Made Sakura's bright green eyes pop in a way her naturally brown hair couldn't. It was a relief to see her so happy and shiny on her birthday. Deathday, technically. Whatever. For the first two decades of her unlife, the occasion had left Sakura wilty and judgy, liable to snap at Naruto for any slight, imagined or not. Sakura hadn't exactly been thrilled when she'd woken up a bloodsucker on 1967—Naruto had saved her, he couldn't be sorry for it, and didn't really give a fuck how much she hated him sometimes. And hated him she had. But she'd stayed with him anyway, mostly because she'd had no idea where to go. And because fledglings were prone to following their sires around like chicks. She'd probably have stayed with him anyway. Things had been much harder for girls back then. Especially Japanese girls living in the USA. Being technically immortal and ageless hadn't changed much when it came to that.

The wailing tune permeating the establishment wasn't really conducive to dancing, but that didn't stop Sakura and the bombshell from draping themselves all over each other and swaying their hips, letting out breathless giggles in between kisses. Ah. What had Sakura said earlier when Naruto had tried to grab her hips and mouth at her neck? "Not in the mood to celebrate with boys tonight." Oh well! At least he might get a show sometime. Unless the blond was never in the mood for boys. Or never in the mood for _him_ , specifically. Naruto didn't think he'd been much of a hit with her.

A low growl—Naruto only heard it because of his superior vampire senses—drew his attention back to the Pretty Boy. A muscly Goth reject in runny black eyeliner had worked up the courage to approach him. Judging by the way Muscly Make-Up was cradling his fishnet-clad right wrist, he'd been rather violently turned down. Naruto disregarded him and focused his supernatural attention on Pretty Boy. The relative nakedness of his pale face somehow made his vicious glares much more sincere than Naruto expected from a bored teenager. He certainly _looked_ more genuine than the sullen brats in stupid make up.

Since Sakura would probably ignore him for the rest of the night, Naruto shrugged and decided that he'd need to find entertainment elsewhere. Deliberately, he hopped off the gleaming black stool he'd parked himself on shortly after Sakura abandoned him for the blond girl and started to make his way towards Pretty Boy.

The Goth rejects shot his orange shorts dirty looks as he cut through them and Naruto made sure to respond with bright smiles. Sometimes he fantasized about paying Anne Rice a visit and explaining how much her stupid "interview" had inconvenienced him since its publication. He didn't fit into his own damned crowd anymore! All the food—even the _willing_ food—expected vamps to wear all black silk while angsting about their unfortunate immortality as they wailed for a shoulder to cry on rather than a warm drink and good fuck. It was a disgrace. The only thing even remotely good that'd come out of the damned nonsense was that Naruto had once run into Jiraiya wearing black eyeliner. The memory still brought an amused smirk to his lips.

"Hey dude," Naruto said pleasantly when he got to Pretty Boy's spot at the other end of the classroom, reaching for Muscly Make-Up's arm. When the idiot looked at him with angry brown eyes, Naruto took the opportunity ensnare his mind. "Take off," he compelled.

"Does it look like I need your help, asshole?" demanded Pretty Boy in a surprisingly deep voice as Muscly Make-Up nodded confusedly and shuffled off.

"Honestly?" asked Naruto, looking up at Pretty Boy and mentally readjusting his previous age estimation. "Yes, it does. You look fit, but that douchebag had a good fifty pounds of muscle on you." Up close, Pretty Boy looked more late twenties than late teens. There were even hints of a stubble growing on his pale, strong chin. With a bright smile, Naruto leaned against the same wall Pretty Boy had planted himself on. "I'm Naruto."

"Sure you are, Weaboo," said Pretty Boy. The insult might have been more effective if he didn't smell so good up close (like a rich kid from the old world, raised on the finest of non-chemical laden meals and protected from all illnesses since he was born).

"I sure as hell am," said Naruto in perfect, unaccented Japanese. "As far as I know my dad was Russian, but my Mom was from Okinawa." Pretty Boy's eyes widened slightly but then he shrugged and looked away. Naruto had lost count of how many times he'd had to explain that. Whatever. He wasn't going to change his name just because people though he looked more like an Ivan than a Naruto. "So what brings you around here?"

"Go away."

Naruto chuckled and made himself comfortable. For a second, he considered compelling Pretty Boy into relaxing—his heart rate was strong and steady, but a little too fast—but then he remembered one of Sakura's many lectures about human rights and body autonomy, blah, blah, blah and decided to test how long Pretty Boy's patience lasted. If the furrow between his slim black eyebrows was anything to go by, he wasn't patient at all.

In the meantime, Naruto settled for examining the spot Pretty Boy had picked.

It was relatively deep into the basement (which probably looked bigger than it really was thanks to the sheets of gleaming black construction paper someone had plastered on the walls) but it offered a very good vantage point. Naruto had an excellent view of the only two doors leading to the hallway. The cheap glowing skull on the narrowest wall where the makeshift bar had been set up grinned at him stupidly while college kids paid for servings of the overpriced red ethanol. The dance floor—where Sakura and her friend still swaying—was also visible. Naruto supposed that Pretty Boy might have picked the spot randomly but he doubted it.

"Go. _Away_."

"No," said Naruto, smiling brightly. "Why are you even here, anyway? It sure doesn't look like you're having any fun. Did your friends drag you along and then ditch you?"

" _I'm_ leaving then," snapped Pretty Boy before standing up and striding out of the basement.

Intrigued, Naruto followed him. Sakura wouldn't miss him, probably. Besides, Naruto spotted two fledglings (a guy and a girl, both dressed like punk-rock stars from the eighties) getting out of their chairs to follow Pretty Boy too. Sakura would forgive his stalking behavior as long as it was for the greater good, right? Naruto decided that she would and trailed behind Pretty Boy, making sure to keep his ears open for the other two idiots following them.

The congregation was supposed to be "intimate", but enough people had shown up to make the big classroom feel cramped. Pretty Boy had no choice but to acknowledge his presence with a dirty look when they ran into a group of newcomers on their way out. Naruto beamed as he gave room to the incoming young couple Pretty Boy had paused to let through. He followed until they were both outside expansive lecture hall and well into the cold, yet well illuminated campus. It was late enough that the parking lot Pretty Boy was rushing towards was deserted.

"You should've brought a sweater if you were going to stay out so late!" called out Naruto when a chilly spring wind gusted past them. It wasn't cold enough to be uncomfortable for him but a human would be shivering. "Want me to help warm you up?"

Pretty Boy growled, low and deep, then continued walking. Naruto loved his enhanced hearing. He chuckled when Pretty Boy made a sudden turn towards a small enclosure between two lecture halls—a collection of garbage dumps was back there—and took the chance to rush at the two fledglings following them, moving too quickly for the naked human eye to follow.

"Fuck off," Naruto said when he was in front of the garishly dressed couple. He let his eyes flash red briefly, just in case his would-be competitors hadn't noticed that he could snap them in half without much effort.

"No worries man," the guy said, raising his hands in surrender before dragging his girlfriend away. "There's enough food for everyone." The girl nodded before the two jogged back in the direction of the new Goth joint.

Naruto had expected more of a fight. The two fledglings were probably serving a much more powerful vampire. A certain degree of power and confidence was needed to try and turn a major American university into a nest. If too many of Mom and Dad's up-and-coming, full-of-potential, destined-for-greatness young adults started disappearing--or just coming down with sudden cases of acute anemia--people were going to notice. The fucking CDC itself might get involved if enough vampires started feeding on college coeds regularly, so Naruto was fairly certain there was another big dog in town. Any other time, he would have let the prey go and investigated the possibility that another vampire was moving into territory he was planning to make his home for an indefinite period of time. Fuck only knew how long Sakura would be fixated on the whole college thing.

Tonight, though, his prey was just interesting enough to make him postpone a search for competition. With an amused smirk, Naruto turned towards the alleyway Pretty Boy had disappeared to. He didn't know what exactly he planned to do but he was sure Pretty Boy's reactions wouldn't disappoint him.

 

***

 

Sasuke looked up at the dark night sky and decided that he'd finally lost his mind. He must be having some kind of low-grade, long-lasting, psychotic PTSD flashback. It was the only logical explanation for what he was doing. He should call 911 and tell the operator that he was an armed veteran frighteningly close to blowing some asshole college frat boy's head off. His cell phone pocket was pretty close to the Glock he'd slid under his belt right after deciding to visit the Cullen obsessed club nearest to Wicksburn. Which was actually _in_ Wicksburn and was constantly having meetings all over Redgers' several campuses.

If his parents were still alive, they'd be ashamed of him.

"I can hear your heart beating, Pretty Boy!"

_Lies, lies, lies . . ._

The mantra did not keep his already fast heart rate from speeding up even more. An image of the strange white-haired but young looking man who'd spoken to him the previous week flashed through his mind's eye. _Are you calling me the Chosen One?_ Sasuke had asked him, unable to keep the derision out of his voice. He looked up at the night sky again, wishing the moon were out at least, and gave himself a few seconds to yearn for stars. Even the terror and boredom assaulting him most cold nights of his first Afghanistan tour hadn't stopped him from being mesmerized by a sky full of stars. It'd been like staring into something both perpetual and ever-shifting. He'd found something new every night.

The frat boy stepped on a forgotten can of soda and the crinkling forced Sasuke back into the present. Bastard started whistling loudly and obnoxiously as he walked towards the dumpster Sasuke was using as cover, rancid scent of vomit and rotting burgers be damned. Sasuke felt his teeth grinding together and forced himself to let go of his gun. _It's just an obnoxious kid . . . can't go to jail over some asshole kid . . . just bruise his ego and send him back to his dorm._

When he felt a warm hand grabbing his shoulder, Sasuke immediately reached for the wrist and tried to pull his assailant towards the (dirty and probably oily) ground. The bastard laughed happily, apparently unconcerned with Sasuke's attempt to dislocate his wrist. The laughter didn't stop when Sasuke crawled on top and of him and used his thighs to immobilize the bastard's hips.

"We should go somewhere more comfortable if you wanna roll around together," he said when Sasuke tried to use his left arm to put him in a chokehold. Fucker just laughed and somehow got enough leverage to flip them over. Sasuke tried hooking his right foot over the guy's knee but a strong hand squeezing his neck softly made him pause. "Easy, now. You're _way_ overreacting."

Sasuke tried to push the guy with all his upper body strength, but it was like trying to budge tons of cement. It wasn't logical. The kid was stockier, but Sasuke had a couple of inches on him. Not to mention, actual combat fucking training. Nevertheless, the blond just leaned forward to sniff at Sasuke's neck as if Sasuke's struggles were as strong as little kid's.

"Get _off!_ " he cried when the offending hand moved from his neck to his hair.

"Oh, I _will!_ " Motherfucker laughed and licked Sasuke's neck, centimeters away from where his jugular was beating frantically. Suddenly, the wind hitting the exposed skin of Sasuke's arms felt much colder. "You smell really nice."

 _This isn't really happening,_ Sasuke told himself as he struggled and squirmed, acutely aware of the loaded gun digging into the small of his back. The thing— _can't be human, my nerves started screaming the moment he walked up to me_ —on top of him sucked on his neck, and Sasuke accepted that he might be raped. _It's not worse than being killed, you worthless fucks!_ His old drill sergeant's voice was suddenly screaming into his ear. That guy hadn't been talking about _rape_ , though. Just about basic training. Sasuke thought the thing would kill him after anyway, so he jerked his head so roughly that some strands of his hair were ripped out of his scalp.

"Seriously, now you're just being _annoying_ ," complained the thing, shrugging when Sasuke resorted to an artless punch. "Stay still; this'll be over soon." Then it pushed its mouth into the crook of Sasuke's neck and bit down hard enough to break skin.

It was actually more shocking than painful, at least at first, especially because the thing suddenly got off him and scrambled away. It gagged while Sasuke tried to ignore the burning pain coming from his neck, spat out what was undoubtedly bloody spittle, and bent down. Its hands found leverage on its knees as it dry heaved. "What . . . the _fuck_?"

"The fuck are _you?_ " demanded Sasuke, touching his neck even though he knew he wasn't supposed to poke at his wounds. It was just most of him couldn't believe what he thought was happening was _actually_ happening. "I'm crazy . . ." Warm, sticky blood was seeping out of his neck. His heart was beating so hard he felt it in his throat. The wound began to itch and Sasuke had to curl his hands into fists to keep himself from scratching at his neck.

"Well, _yeah_ ," said the thing. "That doesn't explain why your blood burns like fucking battery acid. Especially not when you smell so damned good."

Sasuke scrambled to his feet, wondering if the cut— _bite_ —on his neck was deep enough to be dangerous. _You have cell phone, asshole. Call 911_. The voice in his head was right. Even if he wasn't really bleeding—but it hurt so damned bad it _had_ to be real—he was armed and clearly dangerous. The news didn't need another crazed gunman to rave about for weeks on end.

"This is awkward," the thing was saying, but Sasuke was almost certain it wasn't real so he ignored it and reached into his pocket. "But you're going to have to come with me—"

The gun was in his hand and aimed at the blond douchebag before Sasuke realized what he was doing.

"Get away from me, you fucking _monster,_ " he gritted out, offended at the annoyed look on the thing's face. He was holding a gun, for fuck's sake. People were supposed to be afraid of guns.

 _I didn't write the prophecy,_ the white-haired man had said. _Just trying to report it. You're supposed to 'put an end to the vampires endless night with the eyes of God'. I think it sounds cheesy too, but there you go._

 __"Dude, you did _not_ just pull out a Glock on me." The thing spat and gagged before rolling its eyes. "And I told you my name's Naruto. Put that away."

He was standing so close. Sasuke had been a sniper in a couple of missions in Iraq. He could get the fucker right between the eyes without breaking a sweat. And someone would hear the gun going off. RGPD would be on his ass even if it turned out the blond wasn't real. Guns weren't allowed in campus. Still . . . "I have a few questions for you first," he said, determined to get some answers just in case the thing was real.

"You don't understand what's happening here do you?" it asked, shaking his head in exasperation. In the blink of an eye, it was right in front of Sasuke again, reaching forward to grab at his wrist and taking the gun away. Sasuke instinctively tried to defend himself and somehow ended up with his right arm twisted behind the small of his back in a basic but painful hold. The slightest twitch threatened to rip his shoulder out of its socket. His vision swam and made him wonder if he wasn't bleeding out. The bite mark was beginning to go numb. Not a good sign. Wounds were supposed to ache.

"What's happening to me?" he mumbled, feeling the will to fight seeping out of his bones.

"Don't sound so sad," the thing said, sighing and pushing its nose against Sasuke neck. "I wasn't going to kill you or anything. You still smell really good. Healthy and strong. I'm going to let go of your arm but don't attack again, okay?"

" _Okay_?" it repeated when Sasuke didn't respond.

". . . Fine," said Sasuke, desperately trying to think of a way to get control of the situation. Over and over, a voice in his head demanded he call 911 and consent to be locked up in a nuthouse.

"Good," said the thing, loosening his hold on Sasuke's wrist and turning him around. Big, almond-shaped, electric blue eyes sought his. When Sasuke tried to look away, but the thing grabbed a hold of his neck—the bite mark _screamed_ —and forced him into eye contact. "Take me to your car." It honestly looked like it expected Sasuke to obey.

Did the asshole think he was stupid? " _No_ ," said Sasuke, snorting in disbelief.

The thing's jaw dropped and hanged down in obvious shock for a few seconds before it rolled its eyes. "For _fuck's_ sake," it said.

Then it raised its arm and Sasuke's world went black before he could even decide to try and dodge.

 

***

 

"Ugh, I can't believe I stayed out all night!"

"Relax," ordered Ino before bringing a spoonful of strawberry yogurt to her lips. "I thought you said your boyfriend wasn't the boss of you."

"It's not about Naruto," explained Sakura, glancing at the full length mirror Ino had hanged on the narrow door to her tiny, single-bed dorm room. "It's just I didn't bring a change of clothes and my little red dress looks dumb in the harsh light of day."

"You can borrow one of my outfits if you want," said Ino, gesturing at her clothes. "We're about the same size."

"Thanks," said Sakura, taking the few steps towards Ino's closet.

The dorms really were as small as prison cells. She quickly settled for a pair of skinny jeans and a red tube top that wouldn't clash too much with her calf-high boots. A part of her wondered if she wasn't sending Ino the wrong message by storming out of the room like a frightened rabbit but a larger part was too worried about Naruto to care all that much. Of course, explaining that she was so worried about Naruto would _really_ send the wrong idea. Or right idea. The whole Ino-Naruto thing was getting too complicated for Sakura's tastes. Best to get out of the dorm without risking another stilted discussion about the subject.

"Hey," Ino called out after Sakura mumbled her goodbyes and beamed straight for the door. "Think about what I said, okay?"

Sakura nodded, glanced at the Twilight poster on the wall over Ino's bed, and hoped the sadness she felt wasn't written on her face. She walked out of the room, absolutely certain that if Ino asked her to choose between her and Naruto, she would pick Naruto in a heartbeat. Pun not intended. She sighed tiredly and hurried her pace towards the bus stop, thankful that 9:00 o'clock on a Sunday morning might as well be 5:00 o'clock on a Sunday morning to most college students. It took an amount of tranquility she wasn't currently feeling for any vampire to deal with a bus teeming with humans whose bodies were pounding with healthy blood.

Feeling a little angry with herself, Sakura shook her head and tried to focus on the warm spring sunlight shining down on her as she waited for the next bus. She took out her iPhone and checked to see if Naruto had left her a text while she worried. Nothing. No good night text, no obnoxious comment about girl-on-girl action. Not even a sheepish order to stop worrying and have some fun. It wasn't like him. Sakura wasn't worried that he was hurt but she was worried that he'd hurt someone else. Some poor human kid he considered annoying or insignificant enough to deserve being picked on by a supposedly fictional monster. Sakura was young enough—at forty-five, was considered fledgling still, really—that she remembered what it was like to be attacked by a vampire.

Naruto had been "gentle" about it and she'd still been terrified. Thinking back on it, her terror had mostly stemmed from the sudden certainty that someone she'd trusted had turned out to be something out of a horror story. Naruto's typical prey wouldn't have to suffer through that betrayal. She told herself that made the whole thing less horrible as she boarded the bus going towards Redger's main campus. It was more than a little hypocritical for her to be getting all judgmental about feeding on human blood anyway. Tried as she might, she couldn't really go for very long without sucking some poor bastard nearly dry.

She was getting better though. The thought brought a smile to her lips. For the first time in forty-five years, Sakura felt confident enough to spend long periods of time surrounded by healthy humans. Healthy humans who were at their most impulsive and uninhibited even. She didn't know what exactly she wanted to study yet but for the time being it was enough that she was in college. Besides, she didn't even have to graduate if she didn't want to. Like Naruto liked to say, what was the point of immortality if you couldn't do whatever you wanted? Making new friends and being with people besides Naruto was enough for now.

The first thing she'd have to learn would be how to answer questions about Naruto, actually. Ino wouldn't be the last person to wonder why she "acted like her boyfriend was her father". Sakura sighed and looked out the bus window. Ino probably didn't realize just how eerily close to a certain truth she'd been the first time she'd cracked _that_ bitter joke. Naruto really was sort of like a father to her. Sire even _meant_ father. It was a rather uncomfortable truth considering he was the first person (and only man) she'd ever had sex with. But Naruto _wasn't_ abusive. Sakura just needed to find a way to convince Ino of that much before she was forced to end their relationship.

The sudden buzzing of her phone snapped her out of her reverie. She pushed a hand into her pocket, both wishing and dreading that it was a text from Naruto. If it wasn't, she'd have to bite the bullet and call him herself. Ino wasn't around to turn knowing blue eyes on her if she did. Thankfully, it _was_ a text from Naruto, so she would be able to say that she'd managed to go more than twelve hours without checking with him. _Not his fault the sire-fledgling bond is so strong_ , she told herself as she tapped in the sequence to unlock her phone.

_Bring back food and drinking water. For a human._

__Well that was only mildly horrifying. Sakura saw that the next stop would leave her right in front of a Rite Aid and signaled the bus driver to stop, instinctively eager to do as Naruto commanded even as the rational part of her mind argued that it was a sick, unnatural impulse. _Naruto didn't decide how the sire-fledgling thing works_ , she told herself as she hurried towards the rather shabby Rite Aid. It was just beyond the Redger's main campus, nestled in one of the rather poor neighborhoods that surrounded the school.

The doubting voice inside her head that was beginning to sound more and more like her Women's Studies professor pointed out that she had no way of knowing whether or not Naruto had put her under a kind of vampire mind-whammy on purpose. He was the only source of vampire information she had.

He was practically the only vampire she knew. Even after forty-five years, Sakura couldn't stand to be around the average fledgling. The majority of them seemed to have lost most of their humanity during transition. It was because their sires hadn't cared enough to help them through the transformation. Or so Naruto claimed. As she looked through the vegetables in the first aisle, Sakura couldn't help but remember some of the things she'd learned during her months at Redger's. _Abusers make sure to instill themselves into every aspect of their victims' lives. Consciously or not, they make it so that their victims are completely isolated from everyone and everything that might make them feel like they don't_ need _the abuser in their lives._

That didn't describe Naruto, did it? If anything, he'd been encouraging Sakura out of her shell for forty-five—no, forty-six years. When she'd decided that she could control herself well enough to go to college, hadn't he been the one to compel practically the entire admissions committee into granting a spot at Redger's? Didn't Naruto usually go out of his way to get her practically anything she asked for?

_But how hard is it for him to get everything you ask for?_

Sakura grabbed a carton of orange juice and wished she'd skipped Abnormal Psych's battered wife syndrome lecture. _Abusers love to present their victims with seemingly grand gestures that literally cost them nothing. This is why they tend to keep their victims financially dependent on them—to make even the smallest of their gestures seem fantastic_.

Thanks to his mind control powers, Naruto just had to put the right humans under compulsion and _ta-da_! Here's that beautiful dress you've always wanted, Sakura. Here's that apartment with the gorgeous view you've always wanted, Sakura. Here's that trip to Venice.

To her, all those things and many more had meant the sun. But to Naruto—three-hundred year old Naruto—it'd all been rather quaint.

Ugh, there were some parts of college that really weren't agreeing with her. Naruto wasn't an abusive husband. First of all, they weren't married. Second of all, when was the last time he'd punched her? That's right, _never._ Not once in forty-six years. Sakura nodded to herself and went on to gather what she hoped would a reasonable amount of human food.

She ignored the voice telling her that Naruto had never asked for human food before either. Her subconscious couldn't come up with an innocent reason for the request. She only hoped that whatever was going on didn't involve Neji in any way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Compulsion" comes from The Vampire Diaries.
> 
> "Fledglings" I don't remember where I got from, but I don't think it was from the fountain of originality that is my mind.


	2. Hitting the Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is losing his shit really bad. Neji literally has the worst night of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: descriptions of burn wounds caused by torture

In three hundred years, Naruto had never run into a human he _couldn't_ drink. Sure, there'd been some who tasted _bad--_ humans dying of certain diseases, other vampires' blood bags, shamans and witches who drank potions to make themselves as unappetizing as possible, starving people (not his proudest moment)--but he'd never run into one who'd literally _burned_ his throat, tongue, gums, and cheeks. 

It was a bad sign, especially because the blood sluggishly oozing out of Pretty Boy's bite mark still smelled like the finest drink on the planet. It teased Naruto's nostrils so much that right after he dumped Pretty Boy on the black leather couch occupying the living room of the apartment he shared with Sakura, he caved and wiped his finger on the blood trickling down Pretty Boy's neck. It burned the tip of his tongue when he tried to suck on his finger.

Naruto cursed and rushed towards the kitchen. He didn't even bother to put the blood bag he got from the freezer in the microwave and instead tore into it like an animal. For the first time ever, the cold made the blood better since it eased the burning in his mouth and throat. Naruto gulped almost the entire bag down before walking back towards the small living room, absent-mindedly grabbing a wet paper towel to clean Pretty Boy's wound. He felt gladder than ever that he'd talked Sakura out of going for the 'dorming experience'. He'd hit Pretty Boy hard but fuck knew how long he'd stay down. He was apparently magical.

Pretty Boy was still down where Naruto left him, still looking and smelling like a fucking banquet. Biting his lower lip, Naruto started rubbing the trail of red blood running down Pretty Boy's pale neck and staining his navy blue tank top with the wet towel. He cursed when he realized that he'd be needing an entire Bounty roll to properly clean him and not even _that_ would stop the bastard from smelling so good. Most likely. Fuck it, it wasn't like he'd actually bitten down for real. He'd meant to taste him a bit before taking him somewhere more comfortable. 

Briefly, Naruto considered contacting Akatsuki. Since Jiraiya was dead, he was the oldest vampire in his bloodline and technically it was his responsibility to report anything that might threaten all bloodsuckers to the vampire council. A human with acidic blood who couldn't be compelled (that was actually much more worrying than the blood thing) certainly threatened vampires everywhere.

After a few seconds of consideration, Naruto shook his head. He hated Akatsuki. Even if the club wasn't filled with arrogant fucks, they had _Orochimaru_ in their ranks. Fuck them. Naruto would suck Pretty Boy dry before willingly calling them. Telling himself that he was more than capable of dealing with one confused human, he turned Pretty Boy face down and started feeling the pockets of his jeans for a wallet. He found a cell phone first (a cheap Metro PCS piece of shit, which told him that the kid was short on cash), and then an old brown leather wallet.

"Sasuke _McAllister?_ Seriously? _Sasuke_?" Naruto stared at the Redgers ID and rolled his eyes. 

Pretty Boy didn't answer, of course, but Naruto still rolled his eyes. He reached down and turned Pretty Boy over again, deciding to look at his face more closely. He stared at the big, slanted eyes for a few seconds and decided that Pretty Boy didn't _look_ biracial. Not that it meant much. Naruto himself didn't look biracial either. With a snort, he reached for the lap top lying on the living room table and thanked the stars that most humans under thirty happily chronicled their lives on Facebook. 

Not Sasuke McAllister, though. Naruto found nothing but teen Weaboos--to use Pretty Boy's own word--who decided that they hated their parents, liked anime, and were thus ninja, but nothing that seemed connected to his acidic human. Frowning in frustration, he started looking through Pretty Boy's wallet again. He found fifteen bucks, a Bank of America debit card, and a driver's license from California right behind it. Pretty Boy's dark eyes looked at him flatly from the headshots in both IDs. If he were uglier, he'd look like a thug. Sasuke McAllister seemed to be his legit name. And he was twenty-six. Both younger and older than Naruto's ealier estimations. The kid was going to be annoying.

With a small sigh, Naruto opened another window on his browser so he could Google 'Sasuke McAllister, California'. He finally got a result that pique'd his interest.

_Local Captain of Police and immediate family slaughtered by brutal gang hit._

__Interesting.

_This Halloween, fifteen-year-old Sasuke McAllister came home to find his blood-drained mother's leg nailed to his parent's bedroom door . . ._

__Well, whoever the shit reported the story certainly didn't give a fuck about a kid's privacy and a dead woman's dignity.

Naruto shook his head and focused on what was important. Blood-drained. A vampire attack. He was sure of it. He glanced at where Pret--Sasuke was sleeping off the head slam and bit his lower lip. Did he know what had killed his family? His terror and confusion when Naruto tried to feed on him had looked real enough. Not that it mattered, either way. His days were counted. If he was lucky. Naruto shrugged off a bit of sadness at the thought and turned his attention back on the article.

 _Forty-eight-year-old Fugaku McAllister was promoted to Captain in 1991--_ who cared? Naruto scanned the article until he found more details about the crime scene but the article somehow managed to be both needlessly gruesome and frustratingly vague. The were no pictures of the crime scene. Sighing, Naruto decided that he was sure it'd been a vampire attack anyway. The question was whether it'd been a frightened fledgling fuckup or a calculated warning sent by a stronger vampire. Warning to who, though? Pretty Boy didn't seem to know what vampires were.

The consensus among humans had been that the McAllister family had been targeted by one of California's brutal street gangs, though Naruto noted that nobody could decide whether it'd been the work of the Bloods, Crips, MS-13, or any of the other gangs plaguing the state. Apparently, the good Captain McAllister had made enemies among all of them.

Naruto kept reading and eventually ran into a recent (at the time) picture of the tragic family. His eyes were drawn to the grinning kid with a trusting face standing next to a young man with long dark hair tied into a ponytail at the base of his neck. He both looked and didn't look like Pretty Boy, like he was a long lost twin with a completely different personality. To his right was a middle-aged man with faint birthmarks under his eyes wearing a police officer's uniform and a reserved smiled. A stunningly beautiful woman in a burgundy lady's suit (guess she was why Pretty Boy was so pretty) was standing next to the other guy--the brother, probably. Twenty-year-old Itachi McAllister. The article gleefully stated that they'd found some of his blood in the house, but not his corpse.

Wasn't that interesting?

The older brother had been handsome in a more generic kid of way, Naruto supposed. He'd also had the same odd birthmarks as his father, which might have made him stand out a little. The article said he'd been some kid of prodigy. By twenty, he'd already had a Ph.D in Mathematics and 'other degrees'. Some vampires had a thing for 'smart' humans (Naruto had gotten over _that_ phase after Shikamaru pretty quick) so it was possible that the vampire attack had been a present from some vampire Itachi had rejected. But Naruto doubted it. He looked down at Pretty Boy and thought it was too much of a coincidence that he'd turned out to be vampire poison.

But if the attack had been directed at him, why hadn't the perpetrator come back to finish the job? It'd have been easy enough to track down fifteen-year-old Sasuke and blame his brutal murder on gangs unwilling to settle for incomplete vengeance. Naruto kept reading, wondering if there was any information about what'd happened to Sasuke after the murders--

_Young Sasuke will be living with his grandfather, Jonah McAllister, owner of a horse ranch in the Great State of Texas. Mr. McAllister had no comment for us besides a brusque request for his family's privacy to be respected in this difficult time._

A request that the reporter had clearly not given two shits about. Naruto wondered why he had such a bug up his ass about some article printed eleven years ago about a family he'd never met. He grunted at himself and decided to focus on the matter at hand.

A Texas rancher might have a shotgun or two but that wouldn't protect him from a vampire attack. He needed more information. Unfortunately, Sasuke was apparently the only American under thirty who _didn't_ seem to have a single online social networking account anywhere. Not even a LinkedIn page. He was either a loner or a paranoid douchebag who conducted his online affairs entirely through aliases. Was Naruto going to spend the entire night as an Internet sleuth? Or would he sulk until Pretty Boy woke up?

There was no reason to do either. With a small smirk, Naruto reached into his pockets and pulled out his iPhone, looking forward to hearing Shikamaru's put-upon voice despite everything.

"What the shit, do you know what time it is here?" were the first words out of Shika's mouth.

"Afternoon," said Naruto. "Just how stupid do you think I am?"

"Very," answered Shika, sounding so irritated that Naruto grinned. "I was sleeping."

"Shocking," said Naruto. "I need you to find out as much as you can about an American human."

"There's this new thing called the internet," started Shika. 

"Is there?" asked Naruto. "Gee, I hope it's convenient and easy to use. His name is Sasuke McAllister--yes, _really_ \--he's twenty-six and a Redgers' student; he has a debit card from Bank of America and a driver's license from California."

"Why do you even care?"

"I tried to feed on him," explained Naruto. "His blood was acidic and he was immune to compulsion."

". . . He probably belongs to another vampire," suggested Shika.

"He has no bite marks on his arms or neck and I didn't smell another vampire on him."

"Shaman?"

"He was _immune_ to compulsion and didn't even understand what I was."

"He might _know_ a shaman."

"He pulled a _gun_ on me."

"He's American."

"Shika," reprimanded Naruto, sighing tiredly. "Most Americans do _not_ own guns despite what you may have seen on TV and the movies. Now focus that supposedly giant brain pan of yours. I said he's _immune_ to compulsion."

"Smart enough humans are," Shika reminded him.

"Yes, I remember what a disaster it was when I tried to compel _you_ ," said Naruto, rolling his eyes. "This kid didn't _resist_ me. He just didn't notice what I was doing. It was like trying to compel a stone . . . or trying to pass electricity through an insulator."

"Really?"

"Yes, I understand about insulators," snapped Naruto. "Try not to faint. Now use this magical internet thing to get me the information and I'm asking you for. You have my email." He hung up before Shikamaru could come up with any bullshit excuse. "What now?" he asked with an impatient look at Sasuke's prone form. Of course, he got no answer.

If he focused, Naruto could hear Sasuke's strong heartbeat and steady breathing pattern. He wasn't waking up anytime soon. Naruto considered calling Sakura but decided against it almost instantly. She'd most certainly not be happy with human kidnapping thing even if it was for the greater good. Not that she'd consider looking out for vampire interests the 'greater good'. Naruto glared at his laptop, texted Shika a message to get to work, and decided to go get his red 3DS (too bad there wasn't an orange model yet). Thank human ingenuity that it was so difficult to get bored nowadays.

He spent the rest of the night playing Brain Age--well, that Tetris rip-off programmed into it--and occasionally checking Pretty Boy's heart beat. Eventually, he started working on his new Pokemon (Ninetails was his favorite). He was determined to create the perfect team for the next online tournament. Then he put the 3DS away and started trolling Delena shippers on Tumblr. Stelena shippers too. He realized he must have gotten used to Pretty Boy's scent after not consciously thinking about it for a couple of hours. 

After he felt the sun rising, Naruto wondered if he hadn't hit Sasuke too hard. Wouldn't it be stupid if his weird human never woke up? It _would_ be but Pretty Boy's heartbeat was still even and strong. Naruto decided that he'd just been in deep need of a good night's sleep. He wasted more hours online before suddenly realizing that Sasuke would need to eat when he woke up. The whole thing just kept getting more annoying. He texted Sakura an order to bring human food and water, already dreading the disappointed look she'd aim at him the moment she walked through the door.

Barely an hour after he'd tapped 'Send', the scent of Neji's blood assaulted his nose.

"Shit," gritted out Naruto as he jumped to his feet. He shot Pretty Boy one last look before trailing the coppery scent to his apartment's front door, instinctively willing himself to hear Neji's heartbeat. He momentarily sagged with relief when he exited the living room because that's when he heard the erratic and accelerated beatingof Neji's heart being almost completely masked by a stronger, steadier heartbeat.

"Neji," he said as he opened the door, trying to sound as calm as possible. The owner of the steady heartbeat was holding a sharpened knife to his jugular.

"Naruto," breathed out Neji with a pained gasp. His blind brown eyes stared straight ahead, actually looking glassy and unfocused for the first time since Naruto had met him. His heart tried to accelerate further but, since his it was already chugging out unevenly paced and harsh  _lub-dubs,_ it could only maintain an even faster rate for a few beats.  

"Finally," said a gratingly pleasant voice in oddly-accented Japanese. "Uzumaki Naruto, I presume?" 

Neji's arms were covered in angry burn marks of varying severity and sizes. Stray strands of brown hair were sticking to a particularly nasty looking pink burn on his left cheek. The pads of most of his fingers had layers of charred skin trying to peel away from them. Naruto forced himself not to let out a rage-filled growl. Neji  _read_ with his fingers. 

"Yes," he told the white-haired young man ( _a shaman)_ looking down at him with delighted black eyes from behind gleaming round glasses, also in Japanese. "You can let him go now." 

"And you'd rip out my throat in seconds," said the shaman with a mocking snort. "I think not."

"And if you kill him, I'm also going to rip out your throat," said Naruto. "Just not in _seconds_."

Neji let out a short gasp and Naruto reminded himself that he couldn't speak Japanese. Still . . . anger was universal.

"A possibility I accepted before introducing myself to your friend," said the shaman, nodding and smirking. "He's very brave you know. Refused to admit that he knows you, even _after_  I started burning his fingers."

"I'm going to skin you alive," said Naruto, not giving a shit if his eyes were already red. "And I'll _start_ with the pads of your fingers."

"Of course," continued the shaman, like Naruto hadn't said anything, "if you mind-raped him into loyalty, his refusal to speak is not particularly admirable is it?"

Naruto had never compelled Neji. Or fed on him. Friends weren't _food._ "Let him go," he ordered. If only the bastard didn't have a knife at Neji's throat, Naruto would try and compel him.

"In due time," said the shaman. "I have a message for you. Take your girlfriend and leave or we'll find and torture anyone you've ever cared about."

"How optimistic of your master to assume he'll get to leave this city," said Naruto, deciding that whoever had sent the shaman didn't realize he had Sasuke. Assuming this was about Sasuke at all. 

"You have human friends of all ages," the shaman told him. "Old Tazuna is ninety-five right now. How long do you think he could stand torture? What about the junior high school kids you've been playing with all semester?"

Neji mumbled something Naruto didn't understand--Mandarin, probably. His voice sounded raw, like he'd been screaming for a very long time.

"This has nothing to do with your _sisters,_ you little idiot," the shaman snapped.

Naruto felt his fingers curling into fists. Was he fast enough to get the shaman's arm before he cut Neji's jugular and carotid open? Just how good were his magic tricks?

"As I was saying," continued the shaman, " _leave_ or risk the lives of every human you and your girlfriend have associated with during the last few decades."

Before Naruto could say anything, the shaman slashed open Neji's throat and pushed him into Naruto's arm. The spray of blood hit Naruto across the face just as he brought his arm to his lips and tore open the veins and arteries of his wrist. He pushed his bleeding arm into Neji's mouth, his eyes watching as the shaman disappeared in a puff of black smoke. A strong one then. Ignoring the voice in the back of his mind saying that he ought to know better, Naruto bent down and started sucking on Neji's neck wound. The situation was so shitty that he couldn't even enjoy the taste of blood, not even blood spiked by adrenaline and terror.

There were some injuries that killed too quickly for vampire blood to fix. Neji would have to understand (hopefully in less time than it'd taken Sakura). It was a struggle to get him to swallow--fuck, he really was  _dying_ \--but Naruto had done this enough times to know how to angle his bleeding neck so Neji had no choice _but_ to swallow. He sucked on the wound until he could draw no more blood out even though Neji's heart stopped beating long before that. If it didn't work--if Neji died before the transformation started--Naruto was going to find that shaman, turn him into a vampire, and spend the next century torturing him into insanity.

When Naruto raised his head, he noticed that the burn wounds had already begun to heal. A good sign. Vampire blood didn't restore true corpses. He heard footsteps coming their way and instantly braced his muscles for a fight.

"Naruto?"

"Sakura . . ." she was staring at him with horrified and wide green eyes. He knew what he must look like, covered in blood and standing over Neji's tortured corpse, so he sagged in despair. "This is not what it looks like." She ought to know that, right?

"I thought you _liked_ him," she said, taking a step back.

"I _do,"_ he told her. "This wasn't me. I _saved_ him."

It was the wrong thing to say. Sakura grunted and dropped the supermarket bags she was holding before whirling away and storming out of the hallway. Naruto almost went after her before realizing that he couldn't risk Neji waking up starving for blood, terrified, and blind. Especially not with Acidic Pretty Boy still in the apartment. Where there even blind vampires? There would be one soon.

Sakura was older, stronger, and much more resilient than she gave herself credit for. He'd just have to trust that she'd be all right. With a tired sigh, he went to pick up Sakura's bag (Pretty Boy would still need food and water when he woke up).

. . . So would Neji. In a way, giving him a bag of hospital blood seemed more disingenuous than waving some douchbag human in front of him while he starved, but it _would_ make things infinitely easier in many ways. Less _traumatic,_ Sakura would say. Naruto walked back towards him, wondering where the fuck he was going to put him while he slept. Pretty Boy was still on the couch and Sakura would flip the fuck out even more if she came back to find Neji in their bed.

His iPhone vibrated as he bent down to slip and arm under Neji's shoulders. Naruto grunted, stupidly hoping that it was a text from Sakura, and slipped a hand into his pocket. It wasn't a text from Sakura.

 _I don't know how you did it,_ Shikamaru had written, _but you found a Slayer. Details in your gmail._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delena and Stelena are the names of the two main ships in the TVD fandom. The flame wars and ship wars are glorious. 
> 
> Since Naruto was a prankster in the series, I think he'd be an internet troll.


End file.
